The Edge of Feeling

The loneliness is a rope
tied around my chest
refusing to allow my lungs
expansion.
I feel the familiar numbing sensation,
the emotional abyss I could so easily
fall into, again, but emptiness,
darkness
is more painful than any sorrow.
The inability to feel pain or joy,
loneliness or the warmth of another
... it isn't worth it.
I won't jump.
Not again.
Though... falling would be
so easy... all I'd need to do
is let go...
I've learned this lesson once
I know I should step back,
that all that waits in that dark space
at the bottom of me
is the inescapable ache
of losing the ability to love...
but love is what tied the cord
that keeps me from breathing,
love is what threatens to throw me
back into my bottomless pit.
I could simply... let it...
Maybe I am too tired,
maybe I spread my love too thin,
maybe I don't have enough left
to give...
Standing on the edge of feeling
just trying to keep breathing.