Monday, January 27, 2014

Afterwards part V

When I woke up it was dark outside and my stomach was rumbling. It wasn’t until I was downstairs opening an empty and rank smelling fridge that I remembered where I was and that there probably wouldn’t be any food in the kitchen. Two days out of the shelter and I’d eaten the crackers I brought with me and the leg of mystery meat. I went back upstairs to my bag. I had a bottle of OJ, a can of black olives, and some jerky. None of those sounded very good, and I supposed I should save that for more dire straights. Which meant I had to try my hand at foraging.
My father was a great man. However, one thing he never taught me was how to feed myself without a grocery store. On the one hand I figure, how hard can it be? On the other hand, I’ve tripped over air on multiple occasions. I thought I had a pretty good idea what not to eat. Mushrooms can’t be trusted in the wild, and I guess you probably shouldn’t eat poison oak or ivy or whatever. I was just going to have to see what I could do and hope I didn’t eat anything that could kill me.
I wasn’t halfway down the stairs when Zander was behind me. “Where you goin’?”
“Why do you care?” I said not stopping to look at him.
“Well you’re not going outside.”
“Excuse me?” He almost knocked me down as I stopped and turned to face him on the bottom step- which I instantly regretted seeing as it made him so much taller than me I was intimidated despite myself.
“You’re not going outside. It’s daytime.” He said stepping down to my level, making him slightly less ominous.
“Yes, daytime, the time of day when I can see what I’m doing, sounds perfect.”
“No, not perfect actually, dangerous, do you want to get attacked?” He was doing this thing where he looked like he was about to start laughing at me on but also looked kind of concerned on the inside where he thought I couldn’t see him.
“I want to eat.” I might’ve been pouting a little. “If there’s no ‘we’ I’m going to have to take care of that myself aren’t I? If there’s no ‘we’ why should you care if I get attacked?”
“I don’t,” he was totally lying, “I just don’t want you giving away my position.”
“Well I’m hungry, so I’m going to find some food.”
He sighed in annoyance. “There’s some food in my room upstairs, I’ll get you some if you want it.” He stared at me waiting for my answer. I didn’t want to take him up on the offer, but it did seem like the best option, and the pains in my stomach and my, well, everything else, reminded me of the events of the last few days, making me tired.
“Yes please.” I said quietly to the bottom step.
“I’ll be right back.” He said with a roll of the eyes that made me feel like a total mooch.
When he returned he had a near-empty bag of stale biscuits and some spreadable cheese in a can that had never been opened. I was standing awkwardly and sheepishly in the same spot.
“Don’t look so pathetic, it’s not that hard to find stuff, I can feed both of us as long as you can watch my bag when I need you to.” He threw one of the biscuits at me and headed into the kitchen. I followed him in and sat at my spot.
We ate in silence for a few moments. Well, I ate in silence, but after those few moments I realized Zander wasn’t eating, he was just staring at me with his head to the side, again reminding me of a dog.
I tried to swallow the dry bit of biscuit in my mouth before asking uncomfortably, “what?”
“You really don’t know what’s up?” He asked, eyes narrowed.
“Um, I guess not.” I said, a bit surprised by the sudden recycling of conversation topics. “Well,” I had to clear my throat of the slightly old tasting cheese, “I know something happened and a ton of people are dead, including my mom and sister, and that people are desperate for resources. I knew enough about why I was hiding in my family’s old bomb shelter to stay inside, but no specifics or anything. I guess my dad was waiting to tell me until I was older and could handle it better or something.”
“Hmm, crappy planning on his part huh?” He said taking a bite.
“Hey shut up! He wasn’t planning on going missing!”
“Well shouldn’t that be the first thing you plan for?” He was being so freakin casual. “If I had kids in an apocalypse scenario the first thing I’d teach them is what to do if something happened to me.”
“Well my dad just had more respect for my innocence than that.” I didn’t like feeling naive.
“I think innocence went out the window when he turned you into a medical fugitive.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He snuck you out when he knew there was going to be a quarantine. Plus you’re a girl who’s mother and sister died of the disease, they would’ve wanted you for research.”
“Okay Zander, if you’re going to keep bringing up things I don’t know about you’re going to have to fill me in on what happened. Being able to see only bits and pieces of what I’m sure is a pretty big picture is getting really annoying.”
He just kept eating! For, like, ever! He talks crap on my dad for not preparing me properly for the apocalypse and he won’t even tell me how serious an apocalypse we’re in! What a prick.
“Hello?” I am not a patient person.
       “Hold on dude, I’m trying to think.” He looked like he was trying to see how much biscuit he could get in his mouth at once.
       “Come on! I’m not a little kid, if I’m gonna live in this world I’m gonna need to know what I’m dealing with right?”
       “Shut up! I’m just trying to think where to start.” He said through his food.
       “How about start where everyone starts dying.” I said rolling my eyes.
       He swallowed. He was out of biscuit.
       “Okay, so,” He paused and narrowed his eyes at me. “Okay so you know that disease that killed your mom and sister?”
       “Um, yeah.” Duh.
       “Well, it killed pretty much everyone’s mom and sister. It killed pretty much every female. I think the last report I saw there were, like, 200 men for every one woman who kept from getting sick.”
       “What about the ones who didn’t get sick?” The look on his face made me feel like that was a really stupid question.
       “No one didn’t get sick.” He said simply, and meaningfully, as he watched my face with his eyes narrowed.
       “Well, my dad didn’t get sick.” I stopped there. So did he, for a moment.
       “What about you?”
       “Well, no.” For some reason I felt a little nervous.
       “You were exposed to it right? Your mom had it, and your sister had enough of it that your dad knew he had to leave her behind.”
       “Well, I didn’t touch them or anything, I don’t think I was really exposed.”
       He was shaking his head. “The thing was airborne.”
       “Well, what do you want me to say? I didn’t get sick. I’m sorry? What difference does it make?”
       “Were you listening? 200 men for every one woman! And you have whatever genetic oddity that made maybe 1000 people worldwide immune to the thing. You’re an extremely hot commodity. I could probably sell you for a Thanksgiving feast.”
       “Sell me? What the-?” I was starting to think panic might be appropriate when he started laughing at me again.
       “Calm down, I said I could, not that I would. What I’m trying to say is, it makes a difference because as valuable as any woman would be, a woman that has never been infected is almost priceless. There are people in this mess who would literally give their right arm to have you, and when I say literally I mean literally. The disease attacked people on a genetic level, many of the surviving women are deformed, a few are barren which makes them useless to the men I’m talking about who would kill to get their hands on someone like you. They’re kind of weird to look at, the survivors, and the weird looking women are churning out weird looking babies, a lot of them are about as smart as a cardboard box. The prettiest women with the highest healthy birth rates are prisoners. They’re kept locked up in closets and cellars and used as breeding machines. A woman who has never been infected, who is naturally as cute as you are, who can have many healthy children… I’m honestly not sure exactly what they’d do with you, I mean, they need you healthy, but they don’t need you happy, and they certainly don’t need you running away or putting up a fight.” He paused. “You’re literally one in a million.”
       It was hard to picture. It was harder to believe.
       “How do you know? You know? I mean, there could’ve been more people immune in other countries-”
       “They were reporting on other countries, it was the same everywhere. Besides, even if there were more like you in other countries, how does that make you any less vulnerable in this country? It’s kinda irrelevant isn’t it?”
       “Maybe you have a point, but how would they even know I was never infected? What does it do to you? Physically?”
“Well, there was some kind of a breakdown of bone mass and fat cells, so everyone is way too muscular looking, but weirdly not super skinny. They’re smaller, but they’re stronger than before, and there sure as hell isn’t any feminine shape left. It’s kind of hard to explain but you’ll know what I’m talking about when you see it. Plus it messed with pigmentation in a lot of people, most everyone is super blonde or grey now, and pale, and I think one of the freakiest things is that the irises in people’s eyes are gone, the pupils are still there but the rest is just white. So you kinda get why you’d be extra attractive? In addition to being able to bear healthy, normal children, it’s a bit gross screwing an uber-muscular skeleton with demon eyes.” He looked away from me.
“It didn’t affect the men in the same way?” I asked, trying to catch his eye.
“No, it did.” He was totally avoiding my gaze.
“So, you didn’t get sick either then.”
After a pause he replied simply, “Nope.”
“Well then why were you making such a big deal out of me being immune? Like you’d never seen it before or something, like I was this weird freak.”
“Because, you’re the only girl I’ve ever heard of not getting sick. I made a big deal about it because you need to understand how careful you have to be.” He looked back at me, a mixture of worry and relief on his face. “You are kind of a freak, but, I mean, so am I. It’s kind of cool I guess, finding someone else.”
“I know I have to be careful, my dad taught me that much, but I also have to survive. I can’t stay hidden alone in that bunker forever, I’ll starve to death right after I go insane.”
“Well now you’re here. So no worries right? Well, sort of.” He smiled, like that was funny.
“Well no actually. I have no idea how to fend for myself.”
“Well, you have me.”
“Well how long is that supposed to last?”
“Well how many times do you think we can say ‘well’ in this conversation?”
“Well that’s an abrupt change in subject.” It was kind of funny though.
“Well I thought it was funny.”
“Well I thought there was no ‘we.’”
He was suddenly serious. “I didn’t say there was no ‘we,’ I just asked you why you assumed that I’d want to hang around and take care of someone who doesn’t know how to take care of themselves in an apocalypse situation. That’s not a very good survival strategy.”
       “So is there a ‘we’ or isn’t there?” I asked somewhat quietly, cautiously.
       He shrugged. “Well yea I guess there is. What kind of guy would I be if I left you alone knowing you’d probably get yourself killed or caught. Plus the company might be nice for a change even if you are a burden.”
       “Well then why’d you make me feel like an idiot before for saying ‘we?’” Jerk.
       “I had to think about it. Even if I teach you to fend for yourself, you’re a pretty significant burden at least until you know everything you need, and considering you’ve been hiding in a stocked bomb shelter for ten years or so I’m thinking that’ll be a while.” He said it so casually.
       “Gee, thanks.” I was a little insulted. I liked to think I wasn’t completely useless.
       “Oh come on, don’t be such a girl, I’m not trying to insult you, I’m trying to be realistic.”
       “Well I’ve had enough realism for one morning, thanks.” I tried not to look too butt-hurt as I made my way towards the back door.
       “Whoa!” He grabbed my shoulder. “Where do you think you’re going?”
       “For a walk, is that illegal?” Why was he looking at me like that?
       “Did you not just hear a single word I said? You were a part of that conversation, right? You can’t go outside in broad daylight by yourself and just walk around. If someone sees you you’re in deep shit. Whether they kidnap you, or rape you right then and there, or watch where you go to find your stash and hideout before taking you captive, which by the way would be here, where I also hide out, you’re screwed in more ways than one.”

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