Don't

Everything
stings

things
that are not poisonous
are making me sick

the heat is too hot
and the cold freezes

it's all too much
please
don't touch

I
am
a raw
nerve

Smile

Depression is unprofessional
so put on your happy face

nobody wants to see your anxiety
so swallow it and gather your strength

no one wants to see problems
they don't mean it when they ask you how you are
don't be fooled
not only does no one care
no one has time to pretend to
so pretend you don't

smile

The Beast

I think
my generation is confused

they treat love
and sex
like they're the same thing

sex can be fun
a jump to the left
a step to the right
kiss and fuck and fight
make sure you play your cards right
a game anyone can play

but love
is not a game
hearts are not toys
men are not marionettes
girls are not dolls
love is a beast one must respect

it can rip your heart out through your throat
or it can be your fearsome protector

it's all in your attitude,
it doesn't like to be used

and trust me when I say
I don't care who you think you are
you cannot out maneuver the beast

Bad Girl's World

Sweetheart,
never let them turn you sour
read any book that draws you in
listen to any song that moves you
and remember the awful things they say
are their demons coming out to play,
don't let them become yours too.
Know that love
is your sword,
and your sheild.
Know that kindness breaks walls,
and patience moves mountains,
and if you ever find yourself falling short

look to your mother,
whose kindess has been mistaken for weakness,
whose patience has been mistaken for surrender,
whose still tongue has been mistaken for a quiet mind,
who shed her armor years ago,
and walks the battlefield naked,
exposed,
whose skin is stronger where its scarred
and know

it takes bravery to be bare.

You don't have to go bad to beat them,
the world is full of bad girls,
be more,
be rare,
be good.

Cold

The air around me
is always
cold

The Ice Queen
The Unfeeling

numb from the frost
I made into armor
to protect me from flames
I should have known better than to touch.

Here

Always
an afterthought.

They say
you teach people
how to treat you,

so it makes sense
that I'm the last resort,
the back-up plan.

When there's nobody else
there's always me...

Learning to scream

Just a mouse of a thing
never a squeak of protest
never a toe out of line
or a tail in the light
meek and quiet
unseen

but I am learning to scream

Not yet a tiger
with a fearsome roar
or deadly claws
or terrible grace and power
still I prefer the quiet life
not ready to be queen

but I am learning to scream

I am not all I've ever wanted to be
but I am more than I've ever been

and I
am learning to scream

The Space Between

In the days of loathsome bangs
and crushed velvet
I could count on a house
full to bursting
with laughter and love
more conversations
than any one man could keep track of
and hopeless amounts of food
so much warmth
from so many hearts
giving thanks

now so many eat elsewhere,
there is room between bodies
for the cold air of winter
to chill our food
our laughter

our love is still such to be thankful for
but I am not used to the space
in between.

Music and Miles

Windows down
volume up

all the air in my lungs
busy reaching the right notes

a tear here and there
just because it's been a while

breaking speed limits
mile after mile

to where the road ends
and all is quiet.

Excerpt - Good Morning

"Hey"
Six weeks.
I hadn't seen the man in six weeks and I get "hey."
"Hey" I replied.
He sat stiffly in a wooden rocking chair by the fire as I hung my coat by the door and shook the remaining snowflakes from my damp hair.
He looked... tired. I mean he looked fucking incredible, but he looked about ready to collapse.
I didn't bother brushing the gray, melting chunks of ice off my boots. I brought them to the hearth and set them in the warmth of the low flames.
Then I turned to face my husband.
He stood.
For a heartbeat, we simply stared. After everything that had happened, and with all that still lay before us, there was something strange there in the space between us...
We ignored it.
My arms clambered up around his huge shoulders, hands impatiently burrowing into his hair as I pulled his lips to mine. His hands were too eager to be gentle as they squeezed my suddenly small body into his as though trying to assimilate my very cells into his own. One hand lifted my ass as I wrapped my legs around his waist. We were a tornado of tears and lust and tongues and fingers that finally touched down in the bedroom.
Suddenly, there was no war, no life or death, no danger or enemies, prophecies or kingdoms, nothing more important than the single celestial being we became.
Then there was sleep.
So much glorious sleep.
We did not break skin-to-skin contact for a moment that night.
I never thought I'd feel it again, the absolute shield of his arms around me, erasing all the rest of the world from my mind, leaving only us... yet here it was.
I woke with a tear. I refused to move. Instead, I listened closely to his breath. In and out, deep and steady, showing off that lung capacity I'd always envied. I could feel his heartbeat echoing my own against my skin and tried to sync them. I failed.
I opened my eyes and found a perfect view of his young, but weathered face. The new scar was sexy, but heartbreaking. I couldn't help but think everything that had happened was my fault...
My pessimism made me restless.
I kissed his nose, then his lips, then his neck, just where his strong jaw began, and then began decorating his chest, and really any bit of skin I could reach.
He didn't open his eyes, but tightened his embrace so I couldn't move, and made a small groaning sound as he stretched his long limbs.
"Good morning" I said.
"Mmmmmmmorning" he mumbled in response.

The Sunflower

A sunflower
blooming with the first snow
utter nonsense
and a gorgeous contradiction

it seems to understand
that as endings come
the way is made
for new beginnings

Super

I have a superpower

I am not seen
I am not heard

if I am out of sight,
I am surely out of mind

my voice is a draft from under the door
my body a knot in the woodwork

I can manipulate small objects
but I never touch skin
let alone soul

I do not exist

I am not strong
I am not fast

I am not a hero

no one said I was
no one ever will.

Good Enough

Good enough is
nothing special

no one asks for
good enough

good enough is accepted
with slumping shoulders
and a sigh of defeat

good enough is
forgettable

good enough
will always be abandoned
in favor of something
incredible

but
good enough
is at least
good enough.