Exposed

My skin feels
everything
and magnificent.
I feel the warmth, the wind, the rain, the man
despite layers of all-natural fabric
I feel life on my skin
and we all know life can be overwhelming.

I wouldn't trade the nearly
unbearable
symphony of sensation
for the world, because
I get to know the world
in all its intensity
at all times.

The Storm Returns

A blast from my past blew down the reinforced door
uprooting all that had been
carefully
stacked
behind
it

like
Hurricane Katrina
stopping by New Orleans
just to catch up.

Those stacks had grown dusty,
all but forgotten;
I hadn't noticed they were beginning to rot

Such a devastating storm
must have some nerve
to drop by unannounced

but with an apology in hand...

Though unpleasant
uncomfortable
and unwelcome...
The catastrophe returned with closure

and now
we rebuild.

Keep fighting

When I can't echoes in your head
and you feel like sleeping for
eighteen years....
There's nothing I can tell you
you haven't already heard.

I can't

When make it stop is screaming
through your subconscious
like a missile....
All I can say is
don't.

make it stop

I know,
as much as anyone,
how hard,
how thoroughly exhausting
and how fucking impossible
it feels
to fight
we must

I can't

because what else is there?

I'm so tired

When I can't echoes through your head
and you feel like sleeping for eighteen years
and make it stop screams through your mind like a missile
keep fighting,

why

Honestly,

I can't

sometimes I don't know why,

but keep fighting.

I'm trying

Wallowing

I'm wallowing
swallowing the water
that drowns

          It tastes sour

          and bitter

          but sickening sweet.

No longer treading water

my arms are tired

I'm sinking

         it's relaxing,

         the pressure,

         forcing me to lie still.

Soon I'll break the surface of the water

gasping for air

my lungs will scream in thanks

          for now I like the cold water

soothing my aching effort

          the weight of death upon me

like a comforter helping me sleep

          for now I swallow the water that drowns

because I'm too tired to keep my head above it.


*chill mom, it's an old one I've reworked.

Rain Cloud

It's like rain
falling into placid waters
stirring the surface
not really changing
anything.

There's a terrible beauty
in loneliness
that runs
this
deep -
breathtaking
in every sense of the word
bringing tears to your eyes
like
hands around your neck.

It isn't like rain
it is the cold
gloomy sky
that refuses to release.

#LoveWins

Everywhere I look I see

LOVE WINS

Truth is it hasn't yet.

All across the globe people

still fight the wars of their ancestors

praying

to God, or Allah (which means God)

for peace.

They tear the world apart

tear lives apart

in search of peace.

They obviously don't understand peace.

God states

THOU SHALT NOT MURDER

and yet we send

"our boys"

to murder for peace

in the name of God.

yet we celebrate

LOVE WINS

Love doesn't know

what is wrong

and what is war.

Love knows he will hug his children no more

Love knows her husband will never return from war

Love knows the child inside will know no father

Love knows the man who loves man loves equally

Love knows the woman born a boy loves equally

Love knows war in the name of peace is still war

Love knows hate in the name of love is still hate

Love knows evil in the name of God is still evil

Love knows black lives matter

Love knows no skin color

Love knows all life matters

Love knows God loves

For God is love

and man slaughters.

Lay down your arms

in the name of love

take your brother in yours

in the name of love

to build a wall of hearts

in the name of love

to halt the advancing wars

(the folly of man)

in the name of love

If no one fights

no one dies.

Which is a good start.

then 

When equal is equal

and all lives come home

and all hearts can love
and all minds can speak

and all hate has died

and no children cry

we can say

LOVE WINS

Want

Home was in their arms.

That's probably why it was so easy for him to hurt me.

That's probably why he was so scared.

Now home is in my head,

and I'm ready to go again.

It's no longer a matter of need

which is nice,

now it's a matter of want.

I don't need someone to complete me,

I want someone to compliment,

contradict, balance me.

I don't need anyone to hold me

or hold me up,

but I want someone who wants to.

I don't need anyone anymore

and that makes me want them more.