Wallowing

I'm wallowing
swallowing the water
that drowns

          It tastes sour

          and bitter

          but sickening sweet.

No longer treading water

my arms are tired

I'm sinking

         it's relaxing,

         the pressure,

         forcing me to lie still.

Soon I'll break the surface of the water

gasping for air

my lungs will scream in thanks

          for now I like the cold water

soothing my aching effort

          the weight of death upon me

like a comforter helping me sleep

          for now I swallow the water that drowns

because I'm too tired to keep my head above it.


*chill mom, it's an old one I've reworked.