Sunday, October 29, 2017

Most Prized

When I said
these books
are the thing I would save
were the house set aflame
you told me
that was silly,
I could just buy new ones.

When I said
these books
are my most prized possessions
I think
you misunderstood.

What I meant was

these books
my books

with wrinkled pages,
damaged by the eagerness
of my own fingertips,
discolored and stained,
worn and torn,

so obviously used,
so obviously loved,

These books,
where the DNA
of my childhood
shall outlive my own children

where all was well,
and where magic will
always
be
real

These
time capsules
irreplaceable memoirs

are my most prized possessions.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

One of Many

I do not buy into the idea that there is
one
right
person
for everyone.

I believe that very first girl
the melodramatic, captivating little diva next door,
who's living room my overly adventurous little sister
climbed into uninvited,
who became my very first
best friend
was my soulmate
and I hers.

I believe the crazy little blonde tomboy
in my kindergarten class
who's backyard served as a blank book
in which stories of our adventures would be immortalized
in the dirt, and the trees
who I've grown apart from
and will always feel a part of
was my soulmate
and I hers.

I believe the beautiful,
deceptively quiet woman
who was once the girl in my drama class
with the cool shoes
with whom I would grow from girl to womanhood
our friendship immune to time and silence
is my soulmate
and I hers.

I believe the boy who loved me, truly
but in all the wrong ways
and taught me that I had to love and respect myself first
so I could recognize toxicity when it told me what not to eat
who learned how to love, through losing mine
was my soulmate
and I his.

I believe the man in the armor
the big brother I never wanted,
who's darkness makes mine brighter
who never has to speak to be understood in my presence
may be my soulmate
and I his.

I believe when I meet
"the one"
he will be one of many
and that fact will not diminish the truth
or the joy
that he will be my soulmate
and I his.

Some are old, and dormant,
but never forgotten.
Some are lifelong, and reliable
and certain.
Some are new,
and unpredictable.
Some, have yet to be discovered.

I believe there are many people
who's paths we are meant to cross
people we've known from past lives
souls born from the same stars;

all of whom are right for you
even when they're wrong,

all of whom become you
even when they're gone.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

quiet

Lights out
lie down

quiet

I would love
arms around me
a quiet mind
a steady heartbeat
a positive outlook
a sunny disposition
a simple life
a peaceful night

but I'll settle
for lights out
lying down
quiet.

Monday, October 9, 2017

forgettable

There's a reason
the characters I've always idolized most
have been described as
plain
common
unremarkable
forgettable

Because eventually
as the story went on
something
wonderful
is always revealed
something special
that makes their story worth telling

I've never felt like a main character
I've always felt
disposable
at best
but I've always dreamed
that somewhere in me
is a
story
worth
telling.

Sunday, October 8, 2017

A moment of pessimism

Here's the thing About
"finding someone"

In my entire life
I have met 3 whole people
3
who's presence doesn't
drain me
requiring chunks of uninterrupted solitude
to recharge

Every family member
every friend
every lover
they have brought me joy
laughter
but none could share my precious solitude
without disturbing it

save 3

how can I expect to be so lucky
as to find a 4th
so soon

let alone
expect him to love me

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

#fake

Everything
is cropped, filtered 
even the name you display
is not the name you were given

and how are we to trust 
anything
when we know full well
how little truth survives the editing process.

Maybe, so many
feel so hollow
because so much is spent
perfecting the profile

nothing human remains.