Examining Scars

I've always liked burns best.

The "cat scratches"

were the easiest to lie about,

but if they hurt enough

the bled too much

and they didn't scar.

While the glide of a razor

was satisfying, it was preceded

by an unpleasant POP

as the blade broke the skin

and again, too much blood.

But the burns

could be obtained accidentally

and the sting went deep enough

to drown out the noise

and they leave the loveliest scars.

Freefall

It's the feeling you get

when you've just passed the apex

of the rollercoaster

and the drop has just begun

and though they are not yet in full frenzy
you feel the butterflies taking off;

except 

the butterflies 

are in my head

Chaos

I left the church behind me

when I realized

it could not give me

the peace it promised

I looked to the earth instead

the great mother

such serene

solid rock,

sprouting

trees, tall and strong,
hosting

lakes, placid and deep,

creating

the birds, the fish, life itself,

but then;

quakes and storms

volcanoes and geysers

chaos 

erupting 

like tears

from a mind 
that can't take it anymore

so
maybe peace

is only an illusion

and chaos

is the highest power.

Fa(ith/te)

When I was younger

my little cousin tried to explain

as we sat on metal bleachers,

in an attempt to convert me,

"Faith"

she told me

"is trusting 
these benches 
not to collapse
and throw you to the ground"

I told her

"I don't trust them,

I simply accept that I currently 

live in a reality where

they haven't

yet,

so instead of living my life

trusting that the ground will not

crumble

beneath my feet,

I walk

carefully

brusquely

watching the cracks

watching others walking my direction

prepared for disaster

yet

appreciating

every

single

step

because each step

each breath

is a product of the simple luck

that happens to place my consciousness 
in the exact current of fate's rivers

which hasn't killed me

yet

and to me,

that feels like

truth...

like

freedom"

She looked at the benches we sat on

and breathed

a little

slower

a little 

deeper

and smiled.