Butterface beats justerface

Why don't you ever write about her?

Who...

...thought it was interesting

shrinks

...was making conversation

quiets

...

I get it now

...

disappears

...no one

cares

Echoes

I don't know which voices I heard first
they said a lot of the same things

I know which ones I'm still fighting

they say I'm weak, pathetic,
and no one wants to hear about it

my voice isn't loud enough to argue

and there is still so much
echoing

at least in the last few years
I've stopped blaming it
all
on
me

Work

An acidic worm crawls up my spine
threatening to undo breakfast
as I try to focus on work
but to act normal
now, is work

The Water I Drink

"Blood is thicker than water"
Thicker...
harder to swallow...
a tendancy to curdle...
and forced upon us by nature.

Water we seek
water quenches our thirst
provides releif,
clear, so we can see contaminents
and easily cleaned.

The water I choose is water I trust.
The water I choose is water I've tested.
The water I choose becomes a part of me as much as the blood I was born with.

If I choose bloodletting,
it's because the blood in my body
is far below the standard
of the water I drink
and is making me sick.

How to stop being so narcissistic

Lately
my obsessive mind
has been focused
on my self-sabotaging body
so I Google

"How to stop being so narcissistic"

as though my depression didn't grow
from the seed of guilt,
the product of a need
to be the perfect
daughter
friend
sister
and failing,
obviously,
because nobody is perfect,
and it is unreasonable to expect
perfection.

Not to mention
I doubt narcissicts feel guilt over the frequency with which they use the word "I"

So perhaps I can forgive myself
for finally making decisions
based on what's best
for me...

finally.