Glow

A Bath

Modern Woman

Fresh Air

If I'm being honest

your disinterest
is part of the appeal

because I love every pretty, solid perch
unless it looks too welcoming,
then suddenly it resembles a cage
and my instinct is to fly away.

They say love is
giving someone the power to destroy you
and trusting them not to...

and if I'm being honest?
I don't know if I can ever do that
again.

Punching Bag

I will take it in silence
for years
deep cuts,
low blows

I will let you transfer your pain to me,
let you express your anger,
I'll just stitch myself back up
over and over again

I will never hit you back
because I know your pain,
and I couldn't bear
to cause any more

but know
a day may come
when I will be too worn
too busted and beaten in...

if that day comes...
don't be fooled...
don't you dare...
you will have no right...

when I get tired of getting shit on
do not accuse me of being the asshole.

A Meditation

The ocean keeps me grounded

it reminds me how much
I can't see
it reminds me how much
I don't know
it reminds me
that I am small

and that I only exist
because the universe allows me to

the ocean
the mother

she washes away
what weighs me down
and leaves only
this breath

because
the only truth
the only thing I have
the only thing I am
is this breath

the ocean reminds me
not to waste
this breath

Spoken Word

I wish
I could perform my poetry
with the passion and power and presence
that's sent so many chills
up
and
down
my nonexistent spine

I wish
my voice would resonate
the way these words do in my skull

I wish I could make you hear and feel and breathe and cry
this rythm
as I do

because
unlike my voice

these words
are anything but silent

these words
are singing
are laughing
are
fucking
screaming
bellowing
thundering

you have no idea
how deafening my silence can be
and I am infected by the noise
I simply do not have the lung capacity to share

but god
how I wish I could.

Hindsight

I stood between your legs,
you sat on the edge of the bed,
your arms around my waist
as I cradled your head in my chest...

I felt needed,
and you were so
wanted.

Such a scared little boy
in such a big man's body.

The girl was in love,
the woman was already getting bored.

Thank you for running,
because I,

I would've stayed.

Lazy Days

A weekend wasted

on warm black fur,
calming down,
and quiet.

No questions,
no answers,
no talking.

A weekend wasted
on peace of mind
is not wasted.

Shhh

Eyelids
and bones
weighed down
by the noise in the night
I hear my voice begging for peace
"Shhh, please, I'm trying
to sleep."

Wish List

It's never what you want
is it?
When they say it's a gift
and you try to be grateful
but it's heavy
and did not come with instructions
and it's just...
not what you wanted...